Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize