I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
