so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
