i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
