I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize