Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
