i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Randomize
