that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
