omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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