he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
