The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
