I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
