so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
