We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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