Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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