My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I am available for nakedness
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
