Sry I called you an 8
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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