great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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