I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
