I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
