it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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