OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
