no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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