she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Enjoy the penises
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize