Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize