think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
