doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
