can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
