There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
