I want to stick my p in your. b.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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