I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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