Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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