If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
