I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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