spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
