the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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