Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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