What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
