I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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