I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
