would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
