So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
