marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize