on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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