Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
