I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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