Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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