I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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