"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He has the fingertips of a God
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