that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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