swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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