the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
