You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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