my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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