You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
