so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
