We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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