I wanna bring you to show and tell
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
