there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
