Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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