morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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