White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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