I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
