they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
