and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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