do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
