i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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