How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
